As part of the Discussion Challenge I joined for this year I’ll be bringing back Monday Mumbles. Discussion posts are probably my favorite to read and write. I love getting into conversations and since Let’s Talk, It’s Tuesday! is running on a schedule, I felt that it was necessary to bring this back!
Starting from the fifth grade I was writing. I was writing the beginnings of novels that almost ended and (oddly enough) I wrote some kind of weird… Vampire… Not fanfiction, but totally written like fanfiction-Wattpad sort of deal.
This is what I did. I wrote a chapter a day (usually during class tsk tsk), put it in a sheet protector, and then I passed it around my friends. They loved reading what I wrote (or at least I hoped they did and they weren’t lying) and asked for more. At first it was kind of a joke. I was like, “yeah I can totally write this” and by the end of it… I was really excited to write and then share my writing with my friends.
Unfortunately I haven’t really done anything like that since that ended. I never ended that novel… and I probably never will since I most likely threw it away in the move a couple years later and I have no recollection about the plot.
But that kind of jump started my writing. When I got into high school, I was writing tons. I even was really close to finishing a novel I worked at for a year. A year! That was a lot of time for me back then considering what I stuffed my schedule with. I got caught in a slump and never figured out an ending–but I was really proud of it.
I even started writing a really cool fantasy novel as a backstory to my Dungeons and Dragons character that was going really well until I stopped. But every time I wanted to get back into it, I couldn’t.
This is strange because I remember being able to write for hours. Hours. And now I couldn’t even sit still for an hour to write. It’s really upsetting and distressing to me, honestly. I think I found out what may be keeping me from it, though.
I know you’re thinking, well duh, Alexa. That’s what art is? Yes, but hear me out. During my middle and high school years I spent a lot of time alone. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, I was completely content with being by myself (the introvert that I am). Also when I was in middle school and the beginning of high school, smart phones were barely a thing so I really had nothing else to do. So I think I used writing as a way of escape. I remember having, and still having, this incredible wonderlust. I want to go somewhere outside of where I grew up. I want to sail the seas and go to foreign lands. I wanted that kind of life. So I think writing made me feel like I was in a different life, a different place when I actually wasn’t.
It was kind of having that satisfaction of being away from home, but always knowing that I can come back home whenever I wanted to.
Becoming an adult (and still growing into these new pair of pants) kind of changed that. I started thinking about how I wanted to live permanently somewhere outside of where I live. Perhaps a different country. I’m so set on traveling that I’m learning three languages at once. So I think my writing slump is a result of me growing and changing, and I’m still clinging to that same muse for writing when it simply isn’t there anymore.
It’s so strange, but figuring this out may help me writing again. I’m planning on really, really participating in NaNoWriMo this year and I’m so excited for the journey that awaits me.