Am I a Robot? • On Character Deaths

Hello loves! I wanted to talk about character deaths today. I mean I hear people in the community talking about how they’ve cried over character deaths and clutched their books almost in denial and I really understand that but… I’ve hardly been able to feel that when reading books. I think so far there have only been two books that have moved me to tears over deaths (or anything, really). 
The Book Thief  by Markus Zusak
All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven 
These are honestly the two books that have ever made me cry over character deaths. Other than that, I’ve never felt pain over character deaths. I’ve always had this “oh man that happened” attitude and I was never really moved. Now character deaths in movies and TV shows, that might be a different story. I’ve straight up sat in shock at the end of The Grand Budapest Hotel and in the Korean Drama Iris. I have sat there and gone “No I’m NOT CRYING” while tears are just coming out in waves all over my face (lovely images, I know). However, I don’t really remember having these kinds of moments while reading books. 
What is it that makes me not feel this? Is it because I’m not as invested as I am in TV or movies? I hope not because then I’ve lost my fun in reading and that’d be awfully depressing. Maybe it’s just something in those books that made me feel so deeply that I just couldn’t help but cry. Actually, no I think I’ve figured it out. Maybe it’s one of those things where I don’t realize I’m completely invested until I’m in tears. That’s probably what it is. I kind of find myself reading now a days with a really critical eye. So I’m not really letting myself go as much as I used to when I was reading in middle school. I look at everything with “how can this be different?” or “Hm.. that doesn’t seem right”
I don’t know. I probably just need to find more books that resonate more with me or books that I’m not so jaded against. Who knows. I just sometimes feel like I’m this unemotional robot because I’m not super attached to characters like a lot of people are.
Are you in the same boat? Do you feel a lack in character attachment as I do? Why do you think that is?

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