things-i-learned

This weekend was the opening and closing weekend for the student directed one acts at the college I go to and it was an experience I hope I never forget.

Last semester I told myself that I would take a break from the stage because I was feeling incredibly jaded about theatre. If you’re not in theatre you might not be aware, I mean it’s not really surprising, but it gets a bit dramatic in terms of just petty high school esque drama and cliques. I constantly felt like I wasn’t really part of a “crowd” and I felt like I was losing my connection as to why I started going to school for theatre in the first place. So I wanted to take a bit of time away from my specific department to just kind of broaden my horizons and see where I can go.

And then the department decided to do dramatic plays this whole year. I love doing dramatic pieces. I want to learn more in drama because I feel like I can learn more doing dramatic things. So it’s like a sign from the universe telling me, “No Alexa don’t stop just yet!”

I auditioned for the One Acts almost as a last minute decision. I thought, hey, maybe if I get back into it I’ll see something different. I didn’t do a one act since my first semester there and it seemed like a good place because there were bound to be new faces and new talent which meant that I might be able to connect with theatre once again.

It’s sort of turned into that. Rather than this experience being refreshing and being the breath of fresh air, I’ve found reasons why I enjoy theatre and why I don’t like theatre. I was lucky to be in a cast of people that were, for the most part, amazing and great. I loved working with them and my directer was incredibly creative and flexible.

And, really, for the first time since being in the department, I felt like I was appreciated. I felt like I was really part of a cast. After shows I was told at how I did such a good job at how I was such a great actress and whether or not it was a front or just blatant lies, I didn’t care. I don’t really care. For the first time it felt like I meant something in a show. That’s really what hit me. I was used to being kind of part of a show but no one would come up to me and tell me that I did a great job at this or that out of their own discretion. I was always starting the conversation, asking what they thought of the show. For the first time I felt like I had something to offer.

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